On Wednesday morning, my husband sent me a text. It said, “Good luck.” I responded, “Thx. You too.”
At that moment, he was sitting in an allergist’s office with our daughter, preparing to watch her eat small spoonfuls of peanut butter for 3 hours, hopefully uneventfully. I was sitting in yet another speech therapist’s office, preparing to meet the person who would, hopefully, connect with me and our quiet little boy and help us take steps we just haven’t been able to take. It felt weird to split our family this way. Half of us in one place, the other half someplace else. All of us gearing up for big moments but separately. Our children needing such different things but needing them so strongly. It also felt weird because it didn’t feel that weird. This, right now, is life for us. Needs that split. Sometimes there is no other way.
Three hours later, we all drove home together, salivating excitedly at the thought of indulging in peanut butter cups without worry. I gushed about the woman we’d finally met, the one I knew was out there, who is right for us and our son and his needs and ours.
The worry of parenthood can be all consuming. We’ve worried about him for months. We’ve worried about her at school, at every birthday party and play date, every time she puts anything in her mouth. We worry and it’s pointless but we worry anyway. And then we act. We don’t accept that the things that hurt our children or may negatively affect their lives have to be permanent. We believe that we can change things or that things will change. We ignored the doctor when she told us that our girl would be allergic to peanuts for life, that kids don’t outgrow this. We listened to our hearts saying that the people we’d found to help our son were not the right people for us and that the right people are out there. And we persisted.
Persisting. That is what you do through the all consuming worry of parenthood. You persist.
She will not be allergic for life. She is no longer allergic. The right people for us, for our boy, are out there. We found them. And those are this week’s lovely little things.