I started this year with some pretty lofty goals.
No resolutions, which sort of made me itchy, but lofty goals.
I wanted to become a writer. To feel confident calling myself a writer. I wanted to write. Every day. As much as possible. And I wanted to get paid for it.
And I followed this path and that and then another all at the same time. And I tried a lot of different things and I tried hard.
And I stumbled and I fell. And I fell hard.
And I got up. And I tried again. And I found my footing. And I did ok.
And I had some success. And I accomplished some things. And I kept trying.
And when the moment came for me to decide whether to take that deep breath and reach out and grab for my dream and take that risk knowing that this fall would be worse than all the others, I took the deep breath. And when I let it out, it came out shaky and high pitched and I was scared. And despite all of my wishing and trying and working and falling and getting up again, a growing part of me never truly and deeply believed it was possible.
But it was.
I started this year with the goal of becoming a writer. To feel confident calling myself a writer. And to get paid for it.
And today, I am a writer. I feel confident. I get paid for it.
And it didn’t happen the way I thought it would. Not at all the way I’d planned. But that’s the beauty of life, isn’t it? That sometimes you have to work and wish and then take the leap when the time feels right even when it isn’t at all the time you marked on your calendar. That sometimes, your working and wishing is moving you closer to your dream in ways you won’t ever understand, preparing you for the moment when it all comes together.
The pursuit of my lofty goals this year was hard and scary at times. At others it was mean and punishing. And at others it nearly broke me.
But today, if you ask me what I do, I will tell you that I am a writer. I wake up in the morning, and I write. I put my babies to bed, and I write. I drive to work and I am composing blog posts and articles and stories in my head and when I get to work, I write.
As much as possible, I write.
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The art and practice of writing will be a major focus for me in 2014. I’ll be looking at different ways to approach writing, seeking inspiration wherever it may lay, using the rhythms and feelings that come with the natural cycle of a year to guide some of my writing, and ultimately work on improving my craft. I hope you’ll sign up and join me on this writing journey!