Feeling a little twitchy

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calendar and pinecones

I caught myself saying just a day ago that I couldn’t wait for Christmas to come and then go so we could all move on.

And I don’t really feel that way. Not entirely. But I do a little bit.

These last few days have always been a little tedious for me. I remember so potently how it felt as a kid. We get this close and we’re just about ready and we’ve been preparing and getting ready and talking about it and then…. more waiting.

As an adult I now know why this waiting feels so awful. The anxiety and the excitement and the stress and the exhaustion and it all bubbles over with very little room to release. And all the emotion is just too much for us to get settled. Sitting and focusing on one task. Sitting and playing for more than a minute. Sitting and reading a book. All seem just beyond our grasp. But it’s winter and it’s cold and we can’t just go outside and run it all off.

And our routine is off and we’re in holiday mode with the holiday still there on the horizon. We can see it coming but we can’t touch it.

And so we bounce around with so much energy that we shock whomever we come into contact with.

Or maybe that’s just in my house?

These days, we seem to be doing quite a bit of shocking.

And I know that Wednesday will dawn and we’ll have a place to focus all of this excess energy and excitement. And then we’ll settle. We’ll sit. We’ll be quiet. We’ll find the peace and calm that has eluded us.

And then we’ll ease on out of another year. We will find our winter break rhythm and we’ll groove. And it will all be fine.

But oh these final days.

I feel a little twitchy.

5 Comments

  1. Yes, yes!! So twitchy and unsettled. I want it all to pass. I also want to relish in it. Your descriptions of it all are so perfect.
    Tamara recently posted..I’m Only Sad That It’s Ending Too Soon.My Profile

  2. Restlessness – yes yes yes! My kids are driving me crazy. Shock shock shock… tick tock tick tock…. wrap in secret, one more errand, late night elf duty, scheduling family visits….on and on and on.

    Wednesday will come! And then everything moves fast and furious to family celebrations and three more Christmases to enjoy (endure?) so there is no quiet…not until New Year’s Eve. And I’ll take it. Because, it only happens once a year…

    Amen? :)
    Chris Carter recently posted..Merry Christmas! He Came For YouMy Profile

  3. This is how I feel during Super Bowl week! I then try to remind myself that the lead-up is part of the journey, the entire experience. This doesn’t always work: Elise says she hates late-afternoon games, because none of what you do routinely before kickoff is easy or without the tension of the wait, and nothing else will break that tension but the actual game.

    Kind of like Christmas.
    Eli@coachdaddy recently posted..A Parent’s Christmas, in 6 WordsMy Profile

  4. I’m with you in that I do and I don’t feel it. And I think I feel this way around any big event that’s both exciting but also a little bit disruptive to everyday routine. That’s how I feel now when I come to New Jersey to visit. But I’ll also be a little sad when I have to go back to North Carolina on Monday as well. But also relieved to get back into the rhythm of every day life again. I hope that you had a great day yesterday and that everyone in your how is basking in the day after-ness of Christmas.
    Ilene recently posted..SpeedMy Profile

  5. The Holidays do have a rhythm of their own, don’t they? At times, it feels like the days are so slow and then others just rush by.
    Wishing you and your family a very happy holiday season!
    Kim` recently posted..WishesMy Profile

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