Feeling a little twitchy


calendar and pinecones

I caught myself saying just a day ago that I couldn’t wait for Christmas to come and then go so we could all move on.

And I don’t really feel that way. Not entirely. But I do a little bit.

These last few days have always been a little tedious for me. I remember so potently how it felt as a kid. We get this close and we’re just about ready and we’ve been preparing and getting ready and talking about it and then…. more waiting.

As an adult I now know why this waiting feels so awful. The anxiety and the excitement and the stress and the exhaustion and it all bubbles over with very little room to release. And all the emotion is just too much for us to get settled. Sitting and focusing on one task. Sitting and playing for more than a minute. Sitting and reading a book. All seem just beyond our grasp. But it’s winter and it’s cold and we can’t just go outside and run it all off.

And our routine is off and we’re in holiday mode with the holiday still there on the horizon. We can see it coming but we can’t touch it.

And so we bounce around with so much energy that we shock whomever we come into contact with.

Or maybe that’s just in my house?

These days, we seem to be doing quite a bit of shocking.

And I know that Wednesday will dawn and we’ll have a place to focus all of this excess energy and excitement. And then we’ll settle. We’ll sit. We’ll be quiet. We’ll find the peace and calm that has eluded us.

And then we’ll ease on out of another year. We will find our winter break rhythm and we’ll groove. And it will all be fine.

But oh these final days.

I feel a little twitchy.


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