Things I want to tell you

I want to tell you about this week.

But I can’t.

That’s always been the tricky thing for me about blogging. And writing.

I’m a pretty private person. But I want to share. I know some things are better kept close but then something happens and all I want to do is write about it and put it here. I want to tell my friends about my days and the big and small things that happen in those days.

And sometimes I do.

But sometime I can’t.

And I don’t believe that any blogger does or should share everything on their blog or on their Twitter feed or on their Facebook page. We all have things we can’t or won’t or just don’t want to write about and put out there for all the world to see and read (even if not all the world reads, I guess the point is that they could).

Writing is how I work through things. And yes, I could write in a journal or I could type everything out and just save it. But something happens when I click ‘publish.’ There is a certain magic that happens in that moment. I click and I publish and suddenly I haven’t been talking to myself. I’ve been talking to you. And it’s out there now so there is a finality and a closure in a way. Even if, through writing something out, I don’t end up at a solution or resolution (because, normally, I don’t) there is still a cap on my problem. There is still this feeling of, “There. I’ve said it. I can move on.”

Clicking ‘publish’ makes me feel better.

But then there are the things I can’t share. The things I won’t share.

My children’s names.

The beauty of their faces and the colors of their eyes.

The things that happened this week.

And that feels weird to me. Like I’m not being genuine or authentic. Two things that I hold as very important values. Two words I want to describe me. It’s hard to feel authentic when I expose some pieces of my heart, but not others.

But that’s the way. We can’t and we shouldn’t share everything. Even those who claim that they do. Even those who live out the best and the absolute worst parts of their lives publicly for all the world to see and read and comment (and, in those cases, it does feel like all the world reads), even they keep some things close.

So. I want to tell you about this week. But I can’t.

And I know you want to tell me things that you can’t.

And that’s ok.

Just tell me that you’re good. And that you’re growing. And that you’re putting yourself out there and taking chances and living your one, big, beautiful life to its fullest.

And know that I, too, am good. And I’m growing. And I’m putting myself out there and I’m taking chances and I’m living  my one, big, beautiful life to its fullest.

Now. Let’s go enjoy the big beautiful weekend.