Twenty minutes ago I walked out of my house. With a purse containing only my wallet, keys, phone, and a laptop. No diapers or burp clothes or changes of clothes today.
I left my family at home. And there they will be for the next two hours. And here, I will be. Alone.
Well… not totally alone. I’ve got a keyboard and a cup of coffee. Fellow Starbucks patrons on this warm, January Sunday.
I still smell like milk.
The image of the three of them, smiling up at me, ready to go on for the afternoon without me, lingers in my mind as I type.
It’s their first afternoon without me in months. My first without them.
And I miss them.
But I need this time. Time to find the quiet. Time to type the words I need to type. To give those words time to breathe. No competing with cries from a baby monitor or a request for another snack.
And they need this time. Time to be that group of three. They were deeply engrossed in a book before I opened the door to leave. They have everything they need.
We’ll all be good. I feel good. Good to be out and about. Lighter.
But that’s the thing with motherhood, isn’t it? It’s so hard to stay and be there all of the time. And yet, it is also so hard to leave.
~~~~~
linking up for SOC Sunday.
January 20, 2013 at 2:26 pm
Oh, that brought back feelings of leaving that first time. HOping that it would all be ok. Knowing it would, but petrified that it wouldn’t. Enjoy your bliss.
Jana (@jana0926) recently posted..Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Journey
January 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm
It is wonderful to have those couple of hours to write.
And that time away will make coming home even sweeter.
Tracie recently posted..Moments of Perfection
January 20, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Ahhh… I remember those feelings. My children are quite young so I should STILL be having those feelings when I leave the house. Yet, I don’t. Whatever time I have away from my family–as much as I love them all–is a gift, one that enables me to give more of myself when I return.
January 20, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Wandering by from SOCS …
Even after more than 30 years, I still remember the first time we left the baby with Grandma. I didn’t know whether to be thrilled to be out or feel guilty, because I was thrilled to be out.
I do know that it was an important mental-health break. Looking back, I was seriously lucky – my MIL took the baby one afternoon a week. It was good for me and good for the baby.
Wow, I miss those days.
Jules recently posted..SOC Sunday: Breaking a Habit
January 20, 2013 at 9:49 pm
Gosh. I remember those days. Looking around feeling like I’ve left something. Or always answering questions in the plural . . “we this” and “we that.” Glad you got some alone time. It is wonderful.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..Any way you want it, that’s the way to write it. #SOCSunday
January 21, 2013 at 7:30 am
Perfectly written words for that strange go/don’t leave predicament I feel so often. I love my small alone times, but they have to stay that way, small, otherwise I get the nervous eye twitch. I’m back to worrying over how nap or snack or breathing will go on without my presence
tori nelson recently posted..Tiny Spark Series: The Father
January 21, 2013 at 10:25 am
It was hard for me to leave my little ones for the first time, but it gets easier each time and then you realize that it’s good for both of you!
Tess @ Six Feet Under Blog recently posted..Making Money Monday-Make Your Blog Standout
January 21, 2013 at 10:39 am
Enjoy that time alone! It’s rare and precious.
Melissa @ Completely Eclipsed recently posted..The Beast Within
January 21, 2013 at 12:08 pm
This is great for many reasons, but I had to smile because I did the same thing yesterday. Grabbed my stuff and headed to the local coffee shop with my mac. Time away makes time together sweeter. And for goodness sake–it was an hour
Cheers to you and our coffees and some mama time 
sarah @sundayspill recently posted..the sunday spill: the slurp heard ’round the world
January 21, 2013 at 2:10 pm
Stopping in from SITS! I value my time alone as it gives me time to regroup and be a better mom when we get back together! Enjoy your time too!
Britton recently posted..Motivational Monday: OMG…My first 5K!
January 21, 2013 at 2:32 pm
Enjoy your time! I totally understand missing them though, too! A much needed break for every mama
Ilene recently posted..It’s Complicated