We had a quiet morning yesterday. The sun tried desperately to break through and dry the weekend’s rain, but never quite made it. Grey and subdued for another day.
And oddly, I didn’t really mind.
Our last weekend is over. And we did take it slow. We took each moment. I didn’t leave the house at all on Sunday. We stayed in and colored and played and I baked these pumpkin chocolate brownies and these veggie muffins (because no, I am not above hiding veggies in baked goods if it means my girl will eat broccoli).
And yet, it wasn’t the smoothest weekend. We’re all a bit on edge these days. Waiting, watching, jumping at the smallest glimmer of a sign that things are happening. Seeing labor in the tiniest pain or most slightly off feeling. It’s the nature of these final days. Expecting that it really can happen any day now and translating that to living minute by minute.
Such pervasive anxiety is a lot for a three year old to take and she responded by listening less and testing limits more. By the time we all parted for the evening on Sunday, I was spent. Tired and irritable and still so anxious.
But yesterday? Yesterday I got a bonus morning with my girl. Just us two, celebrating her first day off from school with all of our favorites: a quiet morning, mommy-daughter coffee/chocolate milk, and a trip to the craft store.
It’s been our tradition for years now. Days off come with coffee and trips to our favorite places. If settled my heart to have that time. A last morning of just us two. Without distraction or tradeoffs. Just us two.
She had a gift card from her birthday. An aunt who knows her well bestowed $50 to spend on crafty things and my girl’s face lit up like she had just received the best gift ever. So we rolled our baskets around the store and I watched as she tossed stickers and pom poms and even candles into hers. At check out she placed each item carefully on the counter and watched as the cashier rung up each one. Then she proudly handed him her card. He tried to use the balance to pay for my things too. “Oh no.” I told him. “That is hers.” And I know we’ll be back soon to spend the rest of her gift.
In the meantime, I’m cozying down into home. My craft store purchases from yesterday found happy homes and will keep warm, fall feelings within these walls long after the day finally comes when I don’t venture out so much. And this morning, I remade my daughter’s bed. Replacing summer cotton with softer jersey and adding a warm fleece blanket and the heavy comforter that’s been sitting in her closet, waiting for that first chill in the air. Something about preparing a cozy, warm space for my girl as I prepare for new life feels so nice. So perfect. Preparing for my children is my thing these days and my heart tells me it is exactly where I should be.
All signs tell us that this boy is comfy and happy where he is for now and I plan to continue preparing and nesting until he gets here.
Hope you’re week has started off lovely.