The way I can reach down and place a hand on my belly. Large but perfectly round. Firm. Solid.
The way I’m aware of every move. Every position readjusted. Every hiccup.
The way he is with me, all the time, so close to my heart. He will always be close to my heart. But not like this again.
The way strangers smile at me, sweetly. The reminder of life, new and so full of promise. It is infectious.
The way my girl showers my belly with hugs and kisses. Loving the boy inside before she’s met him. Before she really understands.
The way my boy’s daddy rests his hand on my belly as we watch TV, amazed at every hop he feels.
The way I stare down and watch his acrobatics cause ripples and bulges in my skin. Creepy but fascinating.
The way he stretches and I can feel, distinctly, a hand or a foot or a shoulder. The way I circle my arms around him then, feeling so distinctly the little human inside.
And yes, the way that nothing seems to fit anymore. Shirts don’t cover, dresses feel snug.
The way I squeeze into a booth at a restaurant or behind the steering wheel of my car, barely enough space for my baby and me.
Yes, the way my back screams in the morning, my legs scream at night, and my feet scream all the time.
Oh yes, even the waddle. Even the sleep deprivation that I know will only get worse. Even the strong and perpetually unfulfilled cravings for one more cup of coffee.
Yes, those I will miss too.
I’ll miss it all.
But then, I’ll have him.
~~~~~
linking up to Just Write
September 18, 2012 at 10:36 am
Oh! This reminds me so of Heather’s post and how I remember that feeling of closeness, the quiet unity of feeling movement within, late at night, while everyone is quiet, and knowing that you’ll never be this close again. I miss that.
Erica @ Expatria, Baby recently posted..Village Life
September 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Pregnancy IS a beautiful time, for sure. You look beautiful in that dress, Tricia!
September 19, 2012 at 9:12 am
Oh thank you
September 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm
I miss that, too.
Steph
Stephanie Precourt recently posted..The evidence of things not seen.
September 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm
Beautiful post!
StylinMom recently posted..Our Terry Fox!
September 18, 2012 at 10:08 pm
My son just turned 4 months old and I still have moments where I really missed being pregnant. Where I touch my belly and remember that I’m flying solo now. He is such a joy to have around, but there are times where I miss that different kind of relationship.
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September 18, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Awww, I know! I will FOREVER (for the rest of my days) miss being pregnant. There is nothing like it in the world.
Lovely post.
Here via Just Write.
Kat recently posted..Little Moments
September 19, 2012 at 12:42 am
I’ve moved on from that pregnancy season, and–most of the time–I don’t miss a thing. But reading this, I have to admit that I did get a touch nostalgic over the ripples and promise and wonder. Not quite enough to *miss* it, but enough to *reminisce* it.
Beautiful sentiments exoressed here.
Darcie – Such The Spot recently posted..Rebel love
September 19, 2012 at 8:25 am
So beautiful. With my last pregnancy (my fourth) I went through it excrutiatingly aware that it might (most likely) be my final. Despite all the common complaints I whole-heartedly adored being pregnant. I would find myself saying remember this remember this remember this. It’s such a short time that we get to experience being perpetually on the verge of something new. True, he will never physically be all yours again and I think that’s what is in a way so crushing. It’s a special kind of love the one a mama has for a babe she has yet to hold in her arms but already knows so well. Such a wonderful time for you Tricia
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September 19, 2012 at 9:15 am
You’ve captured my thoughts so exactly. Being on the verge of something new and knowing him so well. This is (most likely) my final too and I’m totally conflicted between eagerly wanting him to arrive and wanting to slow down and savor this feeling.
September 26, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I’m not sure what I’m enamored most with – your awareness of just how incredible this is to be experiencing, or your ability to convey it through your blog. Either way, this kid is already in good hands.
As a dad, there’s no way for me to understand just what you’re speaking of feels, but when I get to read this sort of insight, it brings me a little closer.
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