Weekly Gratitude #40: There were smiles. There were tears.


There were smiles.

She woke up with smiles. And giggles. We chatted with her bear about the first day of school. We got dressed and ate breakfast and pulled her hair into pigtails.

girl at chalkboard

We took photos.

We talked about how this would all go down. We talked about it so many times, partly for her preparation, partly to ease my own mind.

There were smiles.

girl with backpack

She walked up to the school with smiles. She pointed out the door and peered around, looking for the teachers that I told her would be here to take her into the classroom. Of course, we were early so we beat the teachers.

There were smiles. For the teachers as they approached us and welcomed us to the first day.

girl with backpack

And then, it was time to go.

And there were tears.

“Mommy, come in with me!” she cried and grasped onto my hand with an incredible grip.

Before I could even hesitate, the teacher stepped in, “Mommy can’t go into school! But I’ll walk you in, come on, let’s go!”

One last hug. One last kiss. Because this teacher, she knew. It was important.

“Would you like to hold hands or should I carry you?” but she didn’t wait for an answer. She knew. She knew to offer the choice but she also knew what the answer would be. She scooped my girl up and off they went. I watched them go, making small talk with another mom as they left, my baby alternating between looking back to see me and looking around at all the activity around her.

There were tears. Her’s drying, mine forming.

I hung around a bit, trying to work out a way to peek in and see her. Eventually I thought better of too much lurking and I left to sit anxiously at a Starbucks for 2 hours.

And when I went back to pick her up?

There were smiles.

And stories. About the teachers and the songs and the classroom and the kids and the bathrooms.

And then there were cookies and milk and quesadillas. Her favorite things to celebrate a very big day.

And for the rest of the day? Nothing but smiles.


This week, I am thankful for…

… days off to spend with my girl before and after her first day of school.

… my husband, who stays up late letting me talk, drying my tears, and helping me find ways out, even when he has to get up early.

… kind nurses, doctors, teachers.

… the gentle support of family and friends.

… a healthy baby boy, still safe and kicking in my belly.

… this season of my life and the growth it brings. Painful at times and enough to steal my sleep and my sanity, but worth it everyday.

… school day celebrations.

… the important reminder to let go of the to-dos and the lists and the feeling of obligation.

… legos.

… a reorganized playroom.

… markers and construction paper.

… a dresser full of itty bitty clothes. Clean and waiting for our boy to arrive.

… our nanny. No longer really our nanny but she still cares and checks in to see how a girl’s first day of school is going.

… Facebook. So rarely am I thankful for Facebook but today, it let me share my girl’s first day with those, near and far, who love her.

Happy weekend to you. We’re continuing our back-to-class theme with our first ballet class of the season on Saturday morning before we enjoy time with friends. Hope yours is delightfully busy.


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