I woke up grumpy yesterday.
It was one of those days. One of those Mondays. Everyone seemed a little on the grumpy side. Even the skies started out cloudy.
I snapped before breakfast. Unkind words in harsh tones spilling out before anyone had taken a bite.
“Mommy, are you happy?”
I told you. She knows.
“Not right now, my love.”
Because it’s best not to lie. Happy people don’t snap.
“Are you happy?”
She smiles and nods. “Yup!”
I had my reasons to be grumpy. It was Monday. I had not slept well. Again. This baby boy weighs heavily on my body which, only a few short years later, feels terribly less equipped to deal with the strain. I refuse to say that I’m getting old, because that is cliche and honestly, I’m not. I will say that perhaps I didn’t start this journey in the best physical shape. I will say that I really wish I had figured out a way to make those yoga classes work in my schedule, all those months ago. I will say that my back aches and my legs cramp and, by the end of most days, my feet scream at me that they just want to fall right off. I think they’d just go on and do it while I slept. If I slept.
But reasons to be grumpy don’t make it feel ok.
And so on my drive to work, I reconsidered.
This time is special. And it is important. This may not be something I experience again. And although I don’t think I will miss the aches and pains, I do think I will miss this time. This pre-baby, getting close, life-is-about-to-change-in-so-many-ways-we-don’t-even-know-yet, excitement. The undeniable buzz in the air. All eyes on the big belly, knowing something big is about to happen. Keeping my little one safe inside, tuned to his every move. These things I will miss.
And so I’ll take the aches and pains. They are just part of this time. I’ll remember that they are not here forever. Like all things in parenthood, they will disappear soon in favor of a new phase.
And I’ll try to be a little less grumpy.
linking up to Just Write