Just mommy

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I’m dreaming about my maternity leave.

I’m allowing myself to forget, for the moment, that it will be a time of absolutely no sleep. It will be the kickoff to what I suspect will be years of no sleep. I’m ignoring the fact that I will be exhausted beyond recognition. And cranky because of it. Pretty much all of the time.

I’m also not acknowledging that I will have a needy preschooler and a needy infant. That they will probably need at exactly the same moment most of the time.

I’m pretending that I don’t remember how awful I felt through many of those early-baby days the first time around.

Instead, I’m dreaming about days where I will be just Mommy. Not working-mommy. Not traveling-mommy. Not rushing-from-here-to-there-and-barely-making-it-anywhere-on-time-mommy. Not multitasking-to-a-fault-mommy.

Just Mommy. Mommy without the distraction of work and meetings and travel. Mommy who can devote all of her time and energy to her children. Mommy whose main to-do each day will be to spend time with her children. Mommy who can focus on starting them down a path that leads to the best possible sibling bond.

Just Mommy.

A working mommy dreams of maternity leave.

I know it’s foolish and naive. I know I won’t really have a single to-do each day. I know I will still be rushing, still be multitasking. I know I’ll be back here before I know it, lamenting how tough it all really is and desperately seeking advice from those of you who have been where I am about to go.

In the back of my mind, I know these things. I know the reality.

But for now, I’m dreaming the dream.

And it’s a really nice dream.

~~~~~

linking up with Shell to Pour my Heart out.

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