Dear little Bun,
You are on my mind a lot these days. And from the dance parties that you’ve been having in there, I know you’d have it no other way. In the midst of the chaos that is all around, you remind me that you’re there. And that comforts me.
Because even though I know you are doing well in there, I worry about you sometimes. Well, I worry about you a lot of the time. I worry about how you’re growing when I can’t see you. I worry about eating well enough and resting enough and I worry that I am probably not doing either of those things particularly well these days. I worry that I am not doing all that I can to give you the best possible start in this world.
This is what Mamas do, my little love. They worry. You’ll soon know that oh so well.
But mostly, I worry about the days to come when I will watch you grow. When you’ll be out here amongst us. I grew up as the big sister in my family. You are the little brother. I don’t know what that will feel like. I don’t know what challenges you’ll face. I don’t know what you will love about this life we are creating for you, or what will cause you to struggle. I don’t know what it will be like to follow your big sister. She was the first – the first child, the first grand-child, the first niece. She was the start of a new generation in our family and there is a certain something that comes with that. She’s paved a way.
But she is also sweet. And caring. And so excited for you to join us. She already wears the title ‘Big Sister’ with pride. She will not, I am sure, make you feel that being second is anything different than being first.
And you’ll be our boy. The boy. You’ll pave your own way here, I’m sure. Parting the seas of pink and glitter and princesses and filling the space with whatever it is you like best.
I can’t wait to see what it is that you like best.
Until then, keep stretching and kicking and bouncing in there, little man. And we’ll keep preparing for you to pave a new way.
All my love always,
Mommy
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