This home

The spot by the door where the cats sit, soaking up as much sun as possible.

The blinds that I loved when we first bought them for the summery, beachy feel I felt they gave the room.

The tree I gazed at through our bedroom window in those early, early days of motherhood, when I felt so scared, and alone, and lost.

The spot in the living room where I laid out blankets on a sunny, Fall morning, and watched her endure tummy-time with a smile for the very first time.

The room I decorated in anticipation for her. The monkeys that I carefully stood on a stool to position just right and surround her crib.

The spot where we stood our Christmas tree, year after year after year.

The spot where we sat on a rainy day meant to be passed by just the two of us, singing about the rain.

The garden window that I gazed out in between sliding spoonfuls of puree into her mouth and watching her tiny face react to brand new flavors.

The space on the dryer where Baby sat to help me with the laundry. Kicking her feet against the dryer door as she dropped the clothes, sock-by-sock, shirt-by-shirt, into the washer.

The fireplace that sold us on the house. The fireplace he would keep lit with fire after fire on cold, Sunday afternoons.

The chalkboard we painted in a sudden burst of nesting that made our home feel more like home.

The door we had to replace because our cat shot right through the screen.

The other door we had to replace because our friend’s dog shot right through the screen.

The deck where we hosted many a night filled with friends and wine.

The front step where we sat on Easter, all of us down with terrible colds but still festive, blowing bubbles Baby had found in her Easter basket.

The garden, providing a blank canvas each spring for us to dream, plan, add splashes of color and bring in new life.

The spot at the bottom of the steps where, despite how much we all hate the clutter, we stored our shoes.

The marks on the walls where the baby gates were attached.

The feeling of walking in after a long trip.

The way it welcomed us the first time we crossed the threshold with Baby in our arms.

The way it felt like home, every day.

I’m looking forward to our new house and everything that it offers us (and oh it offers us so much). We’ll create new memories there for sure. We’ll find our new spots, our new views, our new home.

But these spots, these views, this home. A piece of my heart will always live here.