Do you really want to hear my new year’s resolutions? I hadn’t decided whether or not to share them. But then I looked around last night and what did I see? Resolutions. EVERYWHERE. So, internets, since you showed me yours, I’ll show you (some of) mine.
I started writing out my new year’s resolutions almost 10 years ago. Curled up in my parent’s house, enjoying winter break from school, a quiet house while the rest of my family worked, and the sweet voice of Norah Jones drifting through the speakers. I put pen to paper in the brand new journal I had received for Christmas and I wrote.
I wrote each resolution, I wrote about each one, why it was important enough to be a resolution and how I planned to achieve it. And I’ve done the same every year since. It started out of superstition (I wrote out my resolutions last year and last year was great! So…). But over time, it became cathartic, calming, and essential to closing out the year and readying my heart and my mind for a new start.
Most years, I look back first. Reflect on last year’s resolutions and measure my progress before settling into the new year’s list. But this year, in the rush of leaving town for the holidays, I accidentally left my journal at home. So there I was, in the perfect resolution-making window of time, with no history to review.
Well, that sealed the deal. 2012 will be a year of moving forward. Looking ahead. Letting go of the past that is only weighing me down. No more measuring myself against the last year, last month, yesterday. It’s only present and future from here on out.
And so I resolved to…
… be more present in the moment. Muti-tasking is great. But sitting down to a late afternoon tea party with my Baby and her friends without rudely jumping up to check email/answer the phone/pack lunches/fold laundry is so much better.
… to make special days special and every day memorable. As I mentioned yesterday, I can do Christmas better. I can also do Easter better, Halloween better, the first day of Spring better. I can even do next Wednesday better than I did last Wednesday. Soon my daughter’s long-term memory will start to kick in and I want to fill it with wonderful moments.
… to plan more. Because frankly, my lack of planning has been holding me back. And those first two resolutions won’t happen spontaneously.
… to focus on my relationships with friends and family. I learned, over the holidays, that I am not as close as I think I am with some of the people I consider to be my closest friends. They don’t know me as well as I want them to and I don’t know them as well as I thought I did.
… to write more. Not all of that ‘more writing’ will turn up here but I will write every day.
Some of these resolutions have spent new year’s with me before; I didn’t need my journal to tell me that. But I’m approaching them with renewed fervor this year. 2012 will be the year that I learn how to close my mind to nagging errands and chores when I sit down to play with my daughter in the afternoon. It will be the year that I stop treating holidays as a last minute errand and start creating the traditions and memories that our family will remember. It will be the year that changes my relationships, all for the better.
2012 will be the year. And I’m ready.
Happy New Year to you!