I’m sitting still. Trying to be in this moment. Trying to savor it. To breathe it all in.

I know, in the long view, that moments like these are rare. They’ve been rare in the short view too. She won’t be like this forever. She won’t always fit so perfectly, cuddled within my arms. She won’t always call out for us at night. She won’t always find such joy in sleeping in our bed. Not forever. Someday her beautiful little head won’t find it’s greatest comfort on my shoulder.

It does now.

But now I’m thinking of other things. I’m sitting still but my mind is moving at great speeds. I’m itching with the things I need to do. Lists of tasks and errands and things tingle just below the surface of my skin. I want to make the itching stop. I want to just be.

I focus on the walls. The monkey decals I put up before she was born. The painting my aunt gave her that first Christmas. I think of quieter moments in this room. When I wasn’t so itchy.

I long for those moments. The quiet. So precious. (‘precious’ seems to be my word these days).

My first resolution for 2012, the same resolution I made for 2011, and 2010, and 2009: to learn to quiet my mind, to be present in each moment.

To savor it. And breathe it all in.


*I’m linking up with Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary for Just Write.


  1. Oh it’s so difficult to remember to pause in the moment…all too often my mind is racing ahead. When I do though, it fills me up and allows my perspective to become corrected once again.
    Lovely post

    Stopped in from Just Write

  2. Always my goal too. And I always fall short. Good luck for 2012! (Visiting from Just Write!)

  3. I have a lot of trouble quieting my mind too. I always have. I’ve heard meditation works and I’ve tried it numerous times. But it takes a lot of time and dedication to make it work.

    I hope you find your quiet in the New Year.

  4. I share your goal. I cherish silence. I want to dedicate more time to meditation and quiet alone time in 2012, and ALSO cherish my crazy-making time with two high energy boys under age four.

  5. The faster they grow, the faster we go!

  6. It has to be a mantra, reminding us over and over again… “slow down, breathe it in, slow down…”

  7. Great post! I often wonder if I am the only one learning the same lesson over and over again. With every child, I feel like I “get” it more — what’s important — yet ironically, the craziness of three children constantly pulls me away from the moments, making it impossible to savor even when I want to. I guess that’s all part of the Mommyland journey…finding a new quiet that has nothing to do with noise, but has more to do with acceptance and contentment. (Visiting from Just Write…)

  8. Yes, this. I strive for this, too.

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