Paradox

| 11 Comments

It’s quiet.

The heater whirs. He click-clicks. Then I click-click. Upstairs, she rolls over. I hear the rustle of blankets through the monitor.

Those are the only noises around me.

But within is loud and chaotic.

So much to do. So much to plan.

Holidays. Trips. Gift-buying. Ending the year on a high note. Work. Appointments. Meetings. Decisions.

I really don’t like decisions. The experience of making so many does not make them easier. Nope, they get harder each time.

More complex. More pieces moving. More people affected. More shads of grey.

Should I stay here next week? Just me and Baby, alone in the house while he travels? Or should I seek comfort in the house where I grew up? Surround myself with parents and sibling? Not because I need the help. But because being there will make the week more than a tiny bit easier.

There are pros and cons to each.

Always pros and cons.

They say, when you are old and gently rocking towards the end of your life and reflecting, you will not remember the hours spent at work. You won’t look back on the times you sat at your desk. You’ll look back and remember the time with family and friends.

So is that it? The answer? The BIG PRO that out weights all of the cons.

I think it is.

But I really don’t like decisions. The experience of making so many does not make them easier.

Not at all.

~~~~~


*I’m linking up with Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary for Just Write. Join us!*

11 Comments

  1. There are some times when I just want someone to tell me what to do, and I’ll do it! Please spare me having to make a decision when the pros and cons are so equally balanced, and I don’t feel strongly one way or the other!

  2. Agreed completely- on all counts. Family first, decisions are hard. 🙂

  3. Decisions would be so much easier if there weren’t so many choices!

  4. Good luck with your decision. I hate them too! Take a breath and leap- but I agree that we will never look back and remember fondly days spent at work.

  5. actually, I take that back- that I agree we will never wish we spent more time at work. Because I suppose we may look back and remember our work fondly, one can hope 🙂

  6. I had no idea other people hate making decisions as much as I do. The really big decisions usually aren’t all that hard for me. It’s the dozens of little ones I have to make every day that overwhelm me. Just like you said – planning, buying, traveling – there are so many decisions that have to be made for each thing. It would be nice to quiet that for a while. Maybe you’d be able to do that a bit at your parents’ house?

    • They’re all so hard! Sometimes I feel like the little ones wear me down so that when the big ones come along, I’m out of steam. I hadn’t thought about it but you’re right – at my parents’ house I’ll be able to take a bit of a decision-making-break. If nothing else, not having to decide on dinner will be like a vacation!

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